Do you struggle when it comes to making necessary changes? In order to make the necessary shifts in our life, we need to get out of our own way. Which is why, in this article I am sharing 5 ways we self sabotage our manifestations and hold ourselves back.
There is no better time than now to make those shifts. It’s time to shift! It’s time to do that thing you’ve been afraid to do for so long. That thing you know will change your life for the better if you just get yourself moving.
A quote that I really love is,
“Nothing changes if nothing changes”
Because it’s TRUE.
Maybe you’re reading this and you find yourself at a really toxic job. It’s a career that you felt pressured into, or maybe it’s a career that is paying you really good money, but you aren’t happy. You have to literally drag yourself to work and on your way home from work you zone out the whole drive.
Sometimes you aren’t even sure how you made it to and from work because you were so zoned out just thinking about everything in your life that is bringing you so much discontent.
You start thinking about what life would be like if you could just change that one thing that’s making you so unhappy.
I mean it’s great to think it up, right? To vision what it would be like to have a career you actually enjoy, or to vision what it would be like to finally quit that toxic habit you held onto for so long. But yet that’s as far as it gets. It reaches the vision board that’s in your head and then fizzles out.
You know deep down you need to make that change, but yet months go by and there’s no action. There’s no change and you are left with the same results.
“Why! Why am I so unhappy, why can’t I just be happy, why isn’t anything working out for me?”
Your spirit guides and angels are tapping on your shoulder trying to console you, cheering you on to just STEP.
Come on you can do! Take that step forward, break that cycle.
If this sounds like you or something you can relate to, then this article is really going to help you. I am going to be sharing 5 ways that we self sabotage our manifestations and keep ourselves from making those shifts to break those stagnant cycles.
I will also provide you with some tips to help you work through these self sabotaging mindsets and habits.
So let’s jump into it!
If you’d rather listen to the Thoughts That Manifest podcast episode:
Disclaimer: affiliate links are used. You can read my full disclosure here.
5 Ways You Self Sabotage Your Manifestations
you give your ego too much time to talk you out of it
As I always mention, our ego LOVES comfort. Anything that feels familiar is what our ego thrives off of, but if you want to break repeating cycles that are holding you back, then you need to push through these fears that your ego creates.
The best way to do this is to take inspired action when you feel intuitively guided. Fast action is key and I know it sounds impulsive, but sometimes it’s okay to take that impulsive action within reason.
The biggest reason as to why people don’t have progress when it comes to their goals is because they choose to procrastinate on taking that inspired action.
When you procrastinate on taking action when you feel inspired to, you allow your ego to come in and talk you out of it. You start thinking about what could go wrong or what would happen if it doesn’t work out. Your ego may tell you things like “why try something new when you have a job that’s paying your bills? Or why try something new when you know how to do this job already, starting something new is too much work, it’s too scary”
Next thing you know, you get overwhelmed by the thought of “Where do I even begin? Where do I even start?”
That was once me.
My ego kept me in a spot where I was afraid to move. I was afraid to start and I wanted to make sure I had everything lined up and perfect before I took that leap. This was because I felt like if I didn’t have some big elaborate plan, then I wasn’t ready or I wasn’t qualified enough to take that step.
But guess what, you don’t need to have some big elaborate plan before you start.
There are people out there who are less qualified than you, doing exactly what it is that you want to be doing.
The truth is, the more you wait to take those steps that are needed to create major shifts in your life, the more time you give your ego to talk you out of it and this leads to self sabotage.
I can promise you, your ego doesn’t want you to try something new. Your ego is good with comfort, but big shifts don’t happen within your comfort zone. They happen when you take those chances on yourself.
When you feel inspired to start something new or when you feel inspired to make a change, that’s when you NEED to take that inspired action in that moment. Don’t wait! There is no better time to take action than when you feel inspired to.
Once you take that action, you gain momentum. You start to feel inspired and you start moving forward.
It doesn’t even have to be a huge step forward right? It can be a small step. Even those small steps forward are HUGE parts of your journey. They all matter. As long as you’re stepping, you will get to the destination.
You care about what others think
Another way that we self sabotage ourselves and our manifestation is by putting so much emphasis on what other people think of our choices and decisions.
This was something that was so hard for me to get over, and yeah I still struggle with it, but I’m learning that the only thing that matters is that I am being authentic to who I am.
When we care about what other people think, we put on this mask. We hide who we truly are due to fear of judgment.This leads to holding ourselves back from being our authentic selves and living a life that makes our soul happy.
When I first started my blog back in 2017 I remember being so embarrassed to share it. It honestly caused me anxiety thinking that people I know would find it and read it. I had people laugh at me and doubt me in the beginning and I let people get under my skin, but I’ve learned from it.
The thing is, I love writing and sharing my thoughts. I find a lot of joy in being creative and sharing that side of me with others.
The way that people perceive you and judge you, is a reflection of how they feel internally. That’s what judgement is. It’s a reflection of someone’s belief system, life experiences, unhealed wounds and how they feel internally.
I love tarot and astrology and for the longest time I was afraid to share that with my family because they are very Christian. I finally told my mom and she doesn’t agree with me and she may at times say things that makes me feel like she isn’t accepting that part of who I am, but at the end of the day it’s just a reflection of her own beliefs.
I still love her and I know she still loves me. We both are going to have our own beliefs and live our lives the way we want to because we can’t change people. It doesn’t make either one of us right or wrong.
There will always be people who judge you, and you can’t control that, but you can control how you react to their judgements.
Why internalize those judgements?
It’s hard not to internalize judgements. If you struggle with this, check out this post on building confidence and strengthening your connection with self,
You fear the unknown & are afraid to get uncomfortable
This kind of ties into number one, but one of the biggest ways we self sabotage is because we are afraid to get uncomfortable. Making necessary changes to bring in new shifts is all about breaking out of comforting patterns and cycles.
For a lot of us, There is nothing scarier than the unknown. Not knowing what’s going to happen next can be scary. Often times when we take those leaps of faith and go after something new, whether it’s a new job, new relationship or even a new way of being, we don’t always know what the outcome is going to be and that can be scary.
But when it comes to creating these huge shifts and manifesting a reality that brings inner peace, you have to let go of the outcome and become friends with the unknown.
This is where that faith over fear mentality is so important. It’s really all about taking those risks and making changes that are uncomfortable and having faith that when you are following your intuitive gut feelings, that the universe will always follow through and have your back.
Our ego loves comfort and familiarity which is often why it’s so hard to break habits, even if the habit isn’t good for us. Our ego finds comfort in that habit because our ego is familiar with it.
Maybe you want to make a career change because you can’t stand our office job. Your soul feels so drained at your 9-5 office job that you just can’t take it anymore, so you start looking for new jobs. When you are looking for new jobs are you looking for a new job that is different than the job you are at now? Or are you looking at similar jobs because your ego tells you “stick to what you know, you’ll never be qualified for anything else, maybe if you just change offices you’ll feel better?”
Let’s say you choose to listen to your ego and you apply to a similar job, but at a new location. You hope that you’ll feel better because of the location change, but then you realize that as you get started at this new job, you start to feel the same way you did before.
You start the process all over again, looking for something new, but yet so afraid to actually shift out of the comfort of what you’ve always done.
When we want change in our life, often times we have to do something we’ve never done before, otherwise we will always get the same exact results.
When it comes to changing habits and creating shifts, I recommend reading Atomic Habits. This book is incredible and will probably change your life if you struggle with breaking bad habits.
|Grab Atomic Habits Here|
You distract your focus
Distracting your focus can be extremely self sabotaging and I think we are all guilty of this, especially when we become fearful of making those necessary shifts. We start to procrastinate and make excuses as to why we can’t do it.
My husband the other night was talking to me about how he wanted to get fit, but he told me, “I don’t have the time.”
I looked at him confused because I know he has the time, but from his perspective he doesn’t because he’s distracting his focus.
He feels like he doesn’t have the time because he’s distracting the focus of working out, with something else, like playing video games.
When it comes to making necessary shifts and changes in your life, you need to make sacrifices. You need to be honest with yourself and look at how you spend your time. Ask yourself, Is this productive? Are these habits benefiting me and who I truly want to be? Or am I just distracting my focus?
The answers may surprise you, but often we just make excuses for ourselves because again, our ego doesn’t like to get uncomfortable. Our ego loves comfort and because my husband has been in this cycle of working and then coming home to play video games, sleep, then repeat, that’s what’s comfortable to him. That’s his routine that his ego finds comfort in. Breaking free from that cycle to try something new is HARD, because it’s not familiar. It’s not comfortable.
So ask yourself, are you distracting your focus? Are you making excuses? And again, what are those distractions costing you?
You ask for outside perspective
This goes along with learning how to strengthen your connection to self. When we ask for outside perspective, we are potentially self sabotaging ourselves.
When we need to ask others what they think about potential decisions we want to make, it shows signs that we don’t trust ourselves to make our own decisions.It shows that there is a disconnect between us and our intuition.
There is nothing more empowering than making a choice for ourselves without needing to get that external validation.
Plus, when we choose to get that outside perspective, what if it’s not the answer we wanted? Are you going to choose not to take that step towards your goal because someone else told you it’s a bad idea?
That’s how we get lead astray.
I challenge you to reconnect with your intuition because our intuition is our inner compass and always knows what’s best for us.
So many in this world are so disconnected from their intuition and let their ego hold so much power.
I just imagine what the world would be like if we all just followed that inner guidance and connected more on a heart and soul purpose level. It could be life changing,
But the thing is, if you are reading this right now, that means you have the chance to do exactly that, to reconnect with your intuition, your soul, and finally take those steps forward to break those cycles that you’ve been stuck in for so long.
I believe in you, but the question is, do you believe in yourself?
All it takes is just one step to spark that momentum.
So what step are you needing to take to create that shift? It’s time to step.