Do you struggle when it comes to feeling confident? I wanted to share some of my best-kept secrets on how to step into the most confident version of self. The truth is, when we are feeling confident, we tend to attract more to us. Confidence not only raises our vibration, but when we actually believe and feel worthy to receive, that makes us attractive.
When you are confident in who you are you will notice a HUGE shift in what you are attracting into your life.
Being confident means that you are no longer settling for less than you deserve. Confidence also gives you the courage to step out of your comfort zone and go after what it is you desire without the fear of judgement and motivates you to take action.
I am sharing 4 powerful tips to help inspire you to do the inner work so that you can finally show up as the most confident version of you.
Before I jump into the tips, as a disclaimer I want to say that the confidence I am talking about is not the confidence that stems from insecurity. It’s not the confidence that is seeking approval from others and doing things to get external validation and it’s not boastful energy.
The confident energy I am talking about is embodying this version of self that DOES NOT need the external validation or approval from others. It’s stepping into the version of self that goes after what you desire regardless of what others have to say about it and it’s the version of self that feels secure in who you are without allowing things outside of you make you react in ways that might stem from feelings of insecurity.
So let’s jump into the 4 tips for boosting your confidence!
If you’d rather listen to this episode:
4 Powerful Ways to Boost Your Confidence
Number One: Become Self Aware & Recognize Your Reactions and Patterns
The first step when it comes to boosting your confidence and stepping into the most confident version of self is to first recognize any insecurities you may have. It’s all about self awareness and becoming aware of the way you react to situations that may trigger your insecurities.
There’s so many examples I could give for this, but let’s relate it to money mindset.
Let’s say you feel insecure about how much money you make. You feel like money is something that’s lacking in your life. This makes you feel like you aren’t doing enough, or you aren’t enough because you don’t make enough money.
Because you feel this way, when you notice someone who IS making a lot of money this triggers those insecurities. Perhaps this person who is considered wealthy in your eyes comes across as someone who is constantly talking about how much money they make, or you feel like this person is always bragging about their income.
This is where the self awareness would come into play. How are you reacting to this situation?
Perhaps you sit there and think, “They are so annoying for constantly bragging about how much money they make. I bet they don’t even make as much as they say.” and maybe that’s true, BUT your reaction to their actions says A LOT about how you feel internally.
Because you aren’t feeling secure about the money you make, you react to other people making money and talking about their income in a way that can show signs that you lack the confidence and security.
Now this is just an example, but self awareness is KEY to confidence.
Become so self aware that you recognize your reactions and can then take the accountability to own up to the way you react to certain situations. Once you acknowledge your reactions, you can then start doing the inner work to heal and no longer allow yourself to get so bothered by the actions of others.
I know that is hard to do. I get it. It’s really hard to admit that we have insecurities, but it’s only human. The moment you allow yourself to embrace the fact that you are human and accept that you have these insecurities that you need to work on, is the moment you are choosing to finally work on it so you can be confident and attract more into your life.
This also helps with manifesting! The way we react to unexpected situations can reflect the confidence we have in ourselves and the universe.
This is something I’m always working on. The universe has been testing me lately. When I get unexpected bills because my oil runs out or I pop my tire, it’s so easy for me to instantly react in a way that projects fear, doubt, and insecurity.
I automatically want to go into the conditioned mindset of “How am I going to afford this? I can’t believe this is happening, why me? The universe is against me all the time.”
The more you project energy like this, the more you receive that same energy back. This is why it’s so important for us to work on our reactions and become so confident that we no longer fear the unknown. Faith over fear is what we want.
When something unexpected happens, we need to be so confident that it’s going to work out anyway. Reframe your thoughts and start thinking,
“No worries, the universe always provides, I know it’s going to work out, everything is always working out for me.”
That’s the kind of energy we want to project.
Become self aware and start to recognize how you react. Ask yourself, are my reactions coming from a place of insecurity and lack of confidence? If the answer is yes, then take accountability and start to change the way you react.
The truth is, we can’t control the actions of others and we can’t control unexpected situations, but we can control how we respond and react. I promise, when you respond and react in a way that comes from a confident and secure space, this is going to shift your energy and you will start attracting abundance rather than pushing it away.
NUMBER TWO: Let go of seeking validation and approval
The next tip I have for boosting your confidence and stepping into the most confident version of self is to let go of the need for approval and external validation.
This is really hard to accept. I’ve been there and I still struggle at times because I am only human and as humans we have egos.
For the longest time I would seek approval and external validation, specifically from my family. A lot of this need for external validation stemmed from my rejection wounds from childhood. This wounded inner child of mine craved acceptance.
In order for me to feel accepted I would seek out that approval and validation, but this actually points towards a lack of confidence and a distrust of self.
If you find yourself needing to seek out approval from others before you make decisions, this tells yourself that you don’t trust the decisions you want to make.
Deep down there is a decision that you want to make, but yet you are still looking for that validation and acceptance before making it which causes that disconnect.
What if you don’t get the answer you want and now people are making you second guess yourself? This then causes self doubt.
If you want to step into a confident version of self then you need to let go of seeking approval, acceptance and validation from others.
Nothing says confidence like making decisions for yourself and OWNING those decisions. Really allowing yourself to believe in your decisions and truly feeling empowered by the fact that you are creating your own life regardless if others accept it or not.
I struggled with this a lot because my family has very strong Christian beliefs that often times clash with some of my spiritual beliefs. I am surrounded by a lot of people who don’t share similar spiritual beliefs as me, but as I start to own my spiritual beliefs and accept myself even if people I love have different beliefs than me, I started to become more confident in my beliefs.
This lead me to start attracting people into my life who DO share similar beliefs and I started to feel more accepted because I accepted myself regardless if i didn’t feel accepted by my family.
You always attract the energy you give out and project.
Start accepting yourself. Self acceptance is so validating. You don’t need anyone else to accept you. Your worth is not dependent on the opinions or acceptance of others.
The question is, Do you accept you? Do you feel worthy? If the answer is no, then you need to ask yourself why?
If it’s because you don’t feel like you are getting that acceptance and validation from others, then it’s time to flip the script! At the end of the day people are going to perceive you in a way that reflects how they feel internally and vice versa.
How people perceive you says a lot about them. Let go of that need to prove yourself to others.
You are worthy because you are you.
NUMBER 3: stop defining your worth based off of external circumstances
Often times we attach our worth to material things, the way people show us love, the job we have, how much money we make, how much knowledge we receive, our grades and whatever else.
The truth is, none of that matters. None of that actually defines your worthiness.
The only reason we feel like it does is because society pushes us to believe it to be true.
It’s time to let go of that attachment. It’s so easy to attach our worth to those things, especially because it was pushed upon us as a child.
We would often get rewarded for good grades and punished for bad grades. The words our parents said to us in moments of stress and exhaustion can really sting and sit with us well into adulthood. If we didn’t get shown love as a child then often we seek that love that we didn’t receive.
Society always pushes the narrative that you need to work hard in order to be worthy of receiving money, but money is energy and it does not care if you are worthy or not. There’s no such thing.
If you believe you are worthy then you will receive, but often times we aren’t receiving because deep down we feel like we aren’t worthy and we are attaching our worthiness to all of these things that DO NOT make up our worth.
When you start realizing that you are worthy simply because you are YOU and you let go of this need to attach your worth to how much money is in your bank account or if you get an A on your exam or not, that’s when the game changes. That’s when your reactions shift!
When you stop being upset when you get a B instead of an A, or when you stop beating yourself up because you don’t make as much as the person next door to you.
Allow yourself to sit in this energy of pure gratitude and knowing of the fact that you are worthy regardless. Once you do this, it shifts the way you react. The way you react is no longer from a place of insecurity, therefore the energy you project is shifting. Before you know it, you start attracting more because you are confident.
It all connects and plays this big role in how your energy shifts and creates a new reality for you.
The next time someone says something like “back in my day we actually had to work hard for a living” or “I can’t believe this person has all this money, they don’t work hard, they don’t deserve it.”
Remember, you don’t need to work hard in order to receive money and you also don’t have to be worthy of money in order to receive it. You just have to believe that YOU are worthy regardless. Because you are, and that goes for anything in life.
Once you learn this, you stop accepting things that don’t make you happy. As you step into a higher vibe energy, you realize toxic patterns and relationships that you’ve held onto for so long. Now that those low vibrational energies are no longer in alignment with you, you part ways and make room to attract what does align.
NUMBER FOUR: allow yourself to let go of the ego based mindsets
A lot of our ego based mindsets actually hold us back from being confident. When we embrace our intuition more and our ego less, we tend to have a more confident approach to life.
It can be hard to recognize what’s our intuition and what’s not.
I find that when I feel anxious, that’s often my ego. Our ego wants to protect us and keep us safe. Our ego likes comfort. Often times it can hold us back and keep us in fear based mindsets that strip away our confidence.
When we are fearful, we aren’t confident and this can lead to self sabotage.
I’ve done this so many times. One example is imposter syndrome and I am sure so many of you can relate.
Imposter syndrome is one of the number one reasons why we self sabotage. We start to feel like we aren’t good enough to be doing what we are doing.
There’s been many times where I used to second guess myself before sharing my voice and words with others because of ego based thoughts like, “do I actually know enough about this topic to be sharing this?”
Often these thoughts stem from comparing ourselves to others. We seem to think that others are more qualified than we are for whatever reasons, whether it’s due to a college education, or because they’re older and have been doing it longer.
But that’s all a matter of perspective. There are many things that we intuitively know, that we can pick up on REALLY fast. Just because you learned and picked up on something quick doesn’t mean you are less qualified than someone who may have been studying it longer.
Again, it’s a matter of perspective, but if that’s what you believe to be true, well then I guess it’s true for you.
I know this is an interesting way to look at things right? Because that’s not what we’ve been conditioned to believe.
Society conditions us to believe that those who are older than us or someone who has been doing something longer have more wisdom because they’ve “experienced more.”
I’d challenge that. With my spiritual beliefs, someone younger can have an older soul than someone older. They could have lived many more lives and actually have a lot of wisdom for being so young, but that’s not the majority of society’s beliefs and it’s not the narrative that’s pushed upon us.
Often times we believe we aren’t qualified enough due to so many conditioned ways of thinking that are LIMITED and cause self doubt and a lack of confidence, but those beliefs don’t have to be your beliefs anymore.
You are valuable and you have a lot of value to offer about what it is you are passionate about. Stop holding yourself back due to these limiting beliefs that society might have pushed upon you that are ego based.
Don’t get me wrong, our ego is important and we can’t live without it, but you also need to learn how to find the balance so you can step into that confident version of self. Once you step into that version, you have your power back and you will be an unstoppable force!