10 Things I Would Tell My Younger Self

I am starting a new series where I answer a journal prompt weekly and I encourage you to participate with me! For today’s journal prompt the question is, What are 10 things you would tell your younger self?  If you could talk to your younger self and give your younger self some advice as this future version of you, what would that advice be?

So let’s dive into the 10 things I would tell my younger self!

Number 1: I would tell my younger self that my beliefs don’t have to be their beliefs.

In my opinion, starting at a young age we are so conditioned to limit our free thinking. It first starts with parenting which is understandable because as parents you want what’s best for your child and often you think your beliefs are what’s best for them. However, this conditioning doesn’t just start with parenting, this conditioned thinking also comes from school and society. We learn to trust our teachers, trust our parents and of course trust the “leaders” of our society.

This creates this conditioned mindset that we need to follow society’s idea of normal to be successful, like go to college to get a degree and work a 9-5 job. It conditions us to never question leaders because if they are in a position that is considered “higher” than us, then their beliefs must be the correct beliefs and everyone is just expected to follow without question.

But here’s what I am learning, life JUST IS. There is no meaning to life. We, as humans, give life meaning and who’s to say who is right and who is wrong? Our individual meanings are just a matter of perspective based off our own belief systems that’s built off of our life experiences.

Of course there are morals to live by, but we don’t have to have the same beliefs as everyone else. In fact, it’s okay that other people have different beliefs than you. It offers a lot of opportunity to grow and expand your mind when you have healthy conversations about different beliefs. The beauty in open mindedness is that it provides a lot of opportunity to grow.

This was hard for me to come to realization with for awhile, but our belief system is based off of our life experiences which is usually stemmed from our childhood, the trauma we went through, and the beliefs of our parents or those who we grew up with. Our beliefs are probably also made up of beliefs that society perceives to be seen as normal and truth. Often if you go against what the “majority” of society believes to be right, you are considered wrong.

It wasn’t until recently when I had a shake up to my beliefs. I started realizing that not all of my beliefs were my own. A lot of my beliefs were based off of what I was taught growing up and a lot of my beliefs were limiting beliefs due to the experiences I went through.

I saw my parents constantly stress and argue over money so I had this belief that money was the root of all evil and that I would struggle to make money. I wanted to make sure I was doing all that I could to work hard so that I would never be without, but what I realized was that I was actually holding myself back with this mindset.

I also have a very religious family. They are Christians, and very devoted to their faith. There is absolutely nothing wrong with this of course, but I’m realizing that that’s not me. I don’t like to put myself into the religious category as it feel it’s very limiting.

I consider myself to be very spiritual though and I do believe in a higher power. I believe that this world is far more complex than meets the eye, but I read tarot, I study astrology and I don’t go to church, but I still am very connected to source. This is my belief and it is very different from my family’s beliefs.

I’ll be honest, it’s been tough at times because I just want my family to be accepting and understand that it’s okay that my beliefs are different than theirs, but at times I do feel judged.

It’s like I was trying to seek my family’s approval before allowing myself to believe what I believe because for so long I was made to feel like tarot is evil and that I’m messing with the devil, but this is simply just a belief.

What I’m learning is that their belief system, your belief system and everyone else’s belief system is based off of their trauma, their life experiences. We have all lived very different lives and it’s okay to have different beliefs because we don’t walk the same path. We all experience life differently and I think that’s a beautiful thing. 

Learning to be less judgmental of those who don’t share similar beliefs as me has been crucial, because honestly, it does more harm than good to judge. Spread compassion. The world needs more of it.

Number 2: Everything you are going through right now is helping you align with your destiny!

The more I study astrology and dive into my spiritual journey I am realizing that trauma is inevitable, especially in childhood.

Every single person has probably experienced some hardships or a point in their childhood that cut them deep. As children we are the most vulnerable and because we haven’t experienced our emotions fully yet, the littlest of things can REALLY hurt us,

Trauma sucks, it’s not fun, but it happens. The best way to look at it is that it’s happening for us and not to us. It’s happening in order for us to align to our destiny. If you’ve been through some hardships then there is probably so many souls along your journey that you are going to come into contact with that need to hear your story! You can inspire so many. Through healing yourself you are actually becoming a beacon of light that will be able to shine upon so many others who have experienced similar situations.

Everything that happens for us is reminding us how strong we always were. It’s helping us understand our emotions and teaching us how to have compassion for others.

There are a few ways you can react to trauma. You can stay in a victim mentality and allow the trauma to keep you in toxic cycles, OR you can allow yourself to heal and grow through the experiences so that you can break those toxic cycles!

For the longest time I held myself back because being a victim of my trauma was a lot easier, until it wasn’t.

Staying in that victim mentality was holding me back from healing and because I wasn’t healing, the universe kept triggering me. Toxic cycles kept repeating that would only remind me of that unhealed trauma.

repeating trauma cycles 

One of my beliefs is that I believe our souls came here to earth to learn how to process our emotions. We have a mission that we sign up for and Dolores cannon explains this well so definitely check her books out! Think of earth as a school. You come here to learn lessons through emotions for the purpose of soul growth.

As babies we have no idea how to handle our emotions and that’s where parents come in to help us understand and process our emotions, but you see, parents have their own trauma and unhealed wounds which can make it hard when it comes to helping their kids process their emotions. Which is often why we see generational trauma cycles. 

I know this may sound confusing, but often trauma is generational. It’s a repeating cycle because people aren’t taking the time to truly heal and understand their emotions. A lot of us were taught to just push through the emotions. They’d say “why are you crying? There’s no reason to be crying, just suck it up, people have it worse.” These mindsets and beliefs cause us to store those emotions within our body instead of release them. These stored emotions will then come to the surface through triggers.

This is just me telling my younger self that yes, you will experience pain, heartache, hard ships, and really tough emotions because you are learning how to process and handle such emotions. Know that these hardships won’t last forever! You will continue to grow and learn. Everything you go through is leading you to your destiny because you are destined for greatness! It’s okay to feel hurt and it’s okay to be sad. Make sure you cry it out, but don’t live in the past. Be present and realize that hurt people hurt people.

If someone hurt you, chances are it was coming from a place of unhealed trauma. Now I am not making excuses for anyone, but living in that victim mentality doesn’t allow you to heal and move forward. You have so much potential! Remember that the way that others treat you does NOT determine your worth. You are strong, courageous, beautiful, and smart. Don’t forget that.

NUMBER 3: Money is energy, there is no need to stress it.

I was surrounded by people growing up who were constantly stressing their money. They were always worried that there wouldn’t be enough. I heard constant arguments over the bills. The famous, “money is the root of all evil” line and that money equals power and control. These are all limiting beliefs.

As a child we are sponges, so you are soaking up the energies and beliefs of others around you.

I looked at money like it was bad. I always feared that I would never have enough and I always thought that if you had a lot of money, you were selfish or power hungry.

These beliefs would hold me back from making money because subconsciously I didn’t feel like I deserved it. I  also thought it was bad to want more money.

As the years go on I am learning a lot more about energy and the law of attraction. Money is energy and the energy you give out is the energy you receive back.

Changing my money mindset has been a huge game changer for me and I wish I knew this when I was younger! If you haven’t listened to my podcast episode on how to manifest money, I definitely recommend doing so!

Number 4: Be unapologetically you because their opinions of who you are do not matter.

When I was younger I used to care SO much about what others thought of me. I lacked self worth, I didn’t feel confident, I was shy and I held back from ever speaking up. If I could have done that inner work back then, I would probably be living a different life, but here I am, doing that inner work now.

The best thing you can do for yourself is live your life authentically. Don’t let other people’s opinions hold you back because their opinions don’t matter. That’s just a reflection of who they are and how they feel about themselves.

When there’s something that bothers you about someone, it’s often just a reflection of your belief system.

For example, I was having this conversation with my dad a few years back and I got REALLY triggered. At the time I still hadn’t allowed myself to completely let go of the resentment I had toward him from the past and I was still learning how to heal and do the inner work.

We were talking about jobs and at the time I had my online marketing job because I’m a Pinterest manager for clients. I was also making my income as a blogger.

My dad said something along the lines of “yeah your job is easy, you just sit on the couch all day and do nothing” and I remember it triggering me so much. From my perspective he was assuming that my job was so easy and it made me feel as if I wasn’t worthy of the money I was making. I felt judged and it felt like he wasn’t appreciating how hard I actually worked to get to where I was in my career.

Often we see the older generations say things like, “back in my day we used to have to work hard.” Or they look at influencers and say “why don’t you go get a real job.”

This is a reflection of their beliefs. They believe that in order to be “worthy” of receiving money you need to “work hard.”

Here’s what’s fascinating though… YOU DON’T NEED TO BE WORTHY OF RECEIVING MONEY BECAUSE MONEY JUST IS!  The way you think about money is how you will receive it.

If you think you need to work hard to make money, then the answer is yes you do. If you believe that you can make money easily doing the things you love, then YES you can!

Through this exchange with my dad I realized that a part of me was still unhealed and I was still holding onto some emotions from the past. This conversation was triggering my rejection wound.

I so badly needed validation from my parents. I needed to know that they were proud of me, or that they approved of the way that I was living my life. I was constantly seeking that external validation from them because I believed that I wasn’t worthy of my accomplishments unless they believed I was.

Now that I am older, I am learning that if I am confident and give myself that validation that I seek, others will reflect that energy back to me.

Which is why I would say to my younger self; don’t worry about their opinions. Their opinions do not determine your worth. Show up for yourself, validate yourself and always stay authentic. That is the key to success.

Number 5: The universe is your reflection.

This would have been a serious GAME changer to know when I was younger. The way the universe works is that your external world is going to reflect to you how you feel internally. Every experience you go through is a reflection of your thoughts and emotions.

If you don’t feel worthy of love then you will often attract experiences and relationships that reflect these feelings back to you.

I struggled with an abandonment wound for a long time. It started in childhood when my best friend moved away from me. I was about 8 years old and both of her parents passed away within months of each other. That was traumatic in itself because her home was like my safe haven. Her parents were like my second parents.

When her parents passed away, she had to move across the Country to live with her aunt and uncle. That really hurt me as a child.

Not long after she moved away, my parents got divorced and my dad took off on a cross country trip to clear his mind from the pain he felt. This was a moment that triggered that abandonment wound again.

I still wasn’t healed because as a teen I had no idea how the universe worked. I had no guidance when it came to handling my emotions because my parents were both trying to figure out their own trauma and I don’t fault them for that.

However, more situations kept repeating where that wound would continue to get triggered. My dad and I got into a fight and he left me in a parking lot with no way home. Then I had another friend move away from me, and shortly after that I had to move away from my friends and change schools. Then a boy I really liked moved away from me, and shortly after that my best friend moved to Texas. I just kept getting triggered from this abandonment wound.

It was this repeating cycle and as I reflect back I realize now that the universe was trying to trigger me so that I would do the inner work, heal and release this emotion that I kept stored within my body.

Subconsciously I always believed that everyone was just going to leave me. I wouldn’t form close emotional connections in order to protect myself, but now I’m realizing that I can forgive those from the past who left. I realize that everyone had their own trauma and reasons as to why they needed to do what they did. I know now that it is safe to build close connections and it is safe to love.

I had to also let go of the need to attach myself to others. I don’t need others to make me happy or to make me feel loved. I need to give myself that love first.

As you learn that the universe is just reflecting back to you how you truly feel internally, you’ll begin to realize how important it is to not only heal when you feel triggered, but to also make sure you are only consuming high vibrational content.

There is so much fear based content out in the world right now and it can really distract you from creating a healthy mindset. I truly believe fear based media is coming from a place of control because they know it’s easier to control others with fear than anything else.

So before you sit there and watch the news for hours or scroll endlessly on social media, ask yourself

“is engaging with this content going to give me a reflection that I love?”

What reflection do you truly want to see? Then start consuming and engaging with content, people and experiences that help better how you feel internally so that you have a reality that reflects how good you feel within.

Number 6: You are the main character of your story, NOT THEM!

When you realize you are the main character of your story, you realize how much control you have over your own life.

However, if you are creating a story where everyone else is the main characters, then you are setting yourself up for disappointment.

This goes along with remembering that this is YOUR STORY, YOUR LIFE. Why give other people the power to control your decisions? Your beliefs? Your thoughts? Why put everyone else on a pedestal?

It’s time to hype yourself up!

This can also help not only build your confidence, but it can help you trust your intuition. Our intuition knows what choices to make, but so often we look to others before making a decision. It’s like we seek approval first, but why?!

If you seek validation or approval before making a decision, often that’s a sign that you lack trust in yourself. It can also be a sign that there is a lack of confidence.

Why ask others for approval when they aren’t the ones dealing with the consequences? This is your life not theirs!

Start trusting in yourself to make the best possible decisions for you! That’s how you become the main character.

You also should never make someone else the center of your world either. This is important to remember especially when dealing with relationships.

Know that you do not need someone to be happy. Once you are able to feel happy on your own, you attract healthier relationships and people who will reflect the energy that you feel for yourself.

Number 7: BE CONSISTENT

One thing I would tell my younger self would be to be consistent when it comes to your goals. When working on building up confidence and self trust, the best thing you can do for yourself is show up for yourself consistently and follow through.

For example, let’s say I set a goal to work out 2 times a week. It’s so easy to set a goal and then forget about it. Maybe i’ll work out one day and then skip the next and before I know it, my 2 times a week turns into once or twice a month.

This inconsistency sends a message to myself that i’m not able to accomplish the goals I set. This causes self doubt, lack of trust, lack of confidence and immediately when I set a goal for myself, I subconsciously go back to that time when I set a goal and couldn’t accomplish it.

Which is why it is also important to set obtainable goals for yourself!!!

Don’t get me wrong, it’s okay to shoot for the stars, but if you are setting goals that you know are really hard to accomplish, this can cause that lack of consistency.

Instead, try to set small obtainable goals that you know will help you reach that one big goal and then be consistent with it.

It’s a game changer!

Number 8: Embrace Change, but you don’t always need to create it.

Growing up my life was a constant flow of changes. Something was always changing around me. When I was younger I was used to change and as I got older I started realizing that because I was so used to change, when things were actually stable in my life, I would subconsciously find ways to create chaos and self sabotage. This was because change felt comfortable and normal to me. It’s a trauma response. If things were finally stable, I’d constantly fear that something was going to happen to shake it up again and that fear subconsciously attracted that shake up.

Now that I’m older, I’m looking at these experiences from a different perspective.

Yes, change is necessary for growth and evolution and things won’t always be the same. It’s important to learn how to embrace change when it happens, but if things are stable, appreciate the stability and realize that stability can be your new comfort too.

Life doesn’t have to be constant chaos. Allow yourself to feel good in stability and let go of the fear that you will lose it all.

Number 9: Take that step forward!

Something I struggled with for a while was procrastination. I would tell my younger self to stop waiting for that perfect moment to take that step forward. Stop waiting for that inspiration.

If you know you want to do something, JUST DO IT! Take that step forward because there is no perfect moment. The longer you wait, the longer you dwell on what could go wrong and the longer you have to build up fear and excuses. 

So just STEP! This one step forward will create that inspired action which will create momentum and you will be so grateful that you just went for it.

Number 10 – Be grateful

I didn’t realize how important and impactful gratitude is. When you are grateful for what you have, you are not coming from a place of lack. This causes your vibration to rise and it actually attracts more to you.

When you are constantly thinking things like,

“Yeah I have a house but I’ll be happier when I have a bigger house”

Or “Yeah I have a nice car but I don’t have two and I really need two cars”

These thoughts create a lack mentality and when you are focused on lack, you will stay in that energy and push your blessings further away.

Instead, practice gratitude while working towards attracting more.

Saying and thinking things like,

“I am so grateful for my home.  I am so grateful to have a car that gets from work and back.”

If you want to manifest more, do it from a place of present moment gratitude.

Let’s say you want to manifest a new car. Try to practice saying and writing things out in the present tense what you want with gratitude.

“Thank you universe for my beautiful new car, I am so grateful to have a car that gets me to work and back.”

You want to say and write it out this way even if you don’t have the car yet. This is a really great habit to get into and will consistently keep you in flow with abundance!

 

Well, those are the 10 things I would tell my younger self! I really hope you enjoyed this episode! I would love to hear what you would tell your younger self in the comments below!

Until next time!!

 

Author: ellduclos

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