7 Ways You Can Become the Main Character of your Life
Are you ready to learn how to become the main character and take back control of your life? We are creators of our own life, we co-create with the universe, but so often we let other people take control of our life without even realizing it. This is why I felt inspired to record this episode giving you ideas on how you can step into main character energy in the new year!
Let go of external validation
The first way you can become the main character of your life is to stop letting other people control your decisions and START trusting your intuition. This is something that often times we don’t realize we are doing, but so many of us do it. We constantly look for external validation, especially with social media.
How often do you get a second opinion from someone before you make a decision? How many times do you double check with someone to make sure the decision you are making is the right one?
That need for external validation and assurance from others before you make a decision is actually holding you back from strengthening your intuition and becoming that main character!
If you want to strengthen your intuition you need to let go of the need to seek out assurance and approval from others before you make a decision. When you give others control over your decisions, you are making THEM the main character instead of you.
Often this stems back to childhood. As children we would always seek out approval from our parents before we would do anything. We were young and our parents were the adults. Of course we need approval first before leaving the house to go to a friends house. We are still learning, but since we were so conditioned to do this since childhood, it’s now a natural behavior.
This leads us to seek out approval as adults. BUT, we don’t need to do this anymore. We need to let go of this conditioned behavior and trust in ourselves to make the best possible decisions for ourselves.
Perhaps you also grew up with parents that constantly doubted your decisions or talked down to you about what you thought was best for you. Maybe you wanted to pursue a career but your parents always thought there was a better career path that you should pursue. This again creates this habit of believing that you can’t make the right decisions for yourself which actually blocks your intuition.
It’s time to reframe this. It’s time to strengthen your intuition again and believe that you are capable of being in control of your own life.
The next time you need to make a decision for yourself, don’t ask anyone for permission! Don’t ask for an opinion or seek out that external validation, just do it and go with your gut! This is YOUR life, not theirs. You are the one that deals with the consequences of your decisions, not them.
Start showing up as your most authentic self
When you are in alignment with your most authentic self, then you are in that main character energy! Figure out who you truly want to be, and BE that person
I find that so many of us hide parts of who we truly are in fear of judgment or because someone in the past shamed a part of us that we were wanting to express.
Again we can see this happening when a parent thinks that their chosen path for you is better than your own chosen path. Sometimes parents can push their failed dreams upon their children without even realizing it. They want their kids to live out the life that they wanted to, but couldn’t. This doesn’t necessarily mean that YOU want to live out their broken dreams.
Which is why it’s important to Know that YOU are the main character of your life and you don’t need to hide who you want to be.
For the longest time I took judgement to heart, but as I started my healing and spiritual journey I realized that their judgements are just beliefs and not facts. Everyone has a different version of me created in their mind based off of their own perspectives.
Everyones opinion and perspective is based off of the life experiences they went through and their belief system. Our belief system is also just a reflection of how we feel internally.
For example; when I first started pursuing my blog full time and told others that I wanted to blog for a living, a lot of people judged me for it.
“Oh you’ll never be able to make enough money doing that.”
“Blogging for a living isn’t hard work, get a real job.”
But these opinions and judgements were often just a reflection of their belief system.
They believed that in order to make money you need to work hard doing something that is perceived as a “normal” job in society.
If you enjoy your job then it’s not considered hard work in their eyes and you aren’t worthy of the money you make.
They believed you to be lazy if you weren’t doing what was considered a hard working job.
However, the great thing about life is that nothing has meaning. Everything JUST IS and it’s US as humans who give things meaning based off of our beliefs. What’s considered hard working is based off of perspective and everyone’s own personal life experiences.
Their belief that my job isn’t hard work is based off of their experiences and what was pushed upon them. If they believe you have to work hard and have what’s considered to be a normal societal job, then that’s exactly what they’ll need to do to make their money. Because they believe that to be true.
What I’ve learned is that i’m the main character of my own story and their beliefs aren’t my beliefs.
I listened to their feedback and politely declined it while I continued to believe that I was capable of making money pursuing my passion and that’s exactly what I did.
So remember the next time someone judges you, politely decline their feedback and realize that’s just a reflection of what they believe to be true. It doesn’t have to be your truth, because YOU are the main character in your story, not them.
There will always be someone out there who has different beliefs than you. It’s just the way life works. Who’s to say your beliefs are more right than theirs and vice versa.
You create your reality through what you believe to be true, so keep that in mind. If you believe you can do what you are passionate about for a living, then who cares what anyone else believes. Their beliefs aren’t helping you obtain anything. If anything it’s distracting you from achieving what you want because it’s causing self doubt.
If you are feeling triggered when someone has different beliefs or is judging you, then realize you may need to heal something from the past that relates to your self doubt and need for external validation. We are only human of course. These feelings are normal, but we have the potential to work through them so they no longer affect our story.
Let go of people pleasing and start prioritizing yourself
This is YOUR story, YOUR life, so why is it that you are still allowing yourself to push your happiness aside in order to please others?
I was a people pleaser for a long time and I realized that this stemmed back to my childhood.
Growing up my dad was hurting mentally and physically. He was suffering from an injury that lead to struggling with addiction, depression, mood swings, and short tempers.
As a child I was constantly walking on eggshells afraid to upset my dad. His short temper made me feel threatened as a child. This is where my people pleasing tendencies stemmed from and I held onto this version of myself for a really long time. I didn’t realize that I was still reacting this way in my every day life until people started to point this out to me. That’s when I realized that I was trying to constantly avoid conflict and confrontation because it would trigger my unhealed wounds.
Now that I have become more self aware, I’m realizing that I no longer need to hold onto this version of myself that I created to protect myself as a child.
The people pleasing was a trauma response that my inner child held onto because as a child, people pleasing was what kept me feeling safe. I didn’t want conflict because conflict triggered my inner child that was still wounded.
Now that I’m taking back control of my own life, I started prioritizing myself. If you struggle with people pleasing tendencies, then it’s time to start putting yourself first. Doing that inner work to set boundaries and heal that hurt inner child is going to be KEY to stepping into main character energy. The universe is only going to reflect back to us how we feel internally.
Build your confidence and start standing up for yourself more and the best way to start doing this is by letting go of people pleasing tendencies.
If you don’t want to say yes, then say NO! You don’t need to say yes to keep the peace externally Keeping the peace externally only creates chaos and discomfort internally which continues to create this external reality that you aren’t truly happy with.
When you are happy internally, your external reality will finally reflect this back to you.
Let go of people and things that are lowering your vibration.
If you want to become the main character of your life then it’s important to learn to let go. Often times we put people who are actually doing more harm than good, above ourselves. I especially see this happen when it comes to romantic relationships.
I can recall this in a previous relationship of my own.
I knew that this person wasn’t good for me because he never treated me well, but I continued to stay. I felt that in order to be whole, I needed to be loved by someone. Even though he didn’t love me, I became in love with the idea of who he could be so I kept holding on.
His energy was actually lowering my vibration.
We often hold on to people in hopes that we can change them, but the truth is, we can’t change people.
Can people change? Yes, I believe they can, but we can not make them change. Instead it’s important to focus on what we can change, and that’s ourselves.
Once we remember we are the main characters of our own life, we can change our mindset and we can remember that we don’t have to settle for shitty love stories. We remember that we don’t need someone else to complete us. The most powerful energy is the energy of realizing that we are whole on our own.
Once we start giving ourselves the love we know we deserve, that’s when we start attracting people into our lives who reflect that love that we give to ourselves.
That’s how the universe works. You attract relationships that reflect your unhealed wounds to you. Once you start doing the inner work, you will see a change in the people around you.
But you must let go of what you know isn’t good for you in order to make room for what is.
That’s main character energy.
& this means letting go of toxic habits too. Anything that lowers your vibration and keeps you in toxic cycles, needs to go!
Add joy to your every day mundane tasks
Let’s face it, no one enjoys every day tasks like folding the laundry, driving to work, paying bills, cleaning the house. Often times the people who do enjoy doing these things are enjoying them because they add JOY to these tasks! I challenge you to do the same.
This goes with that saying “romanticize your life” but sometimes I feel like we can take that saying and use it as an excuse to stay in shitty situations. What romanticizing your life means to me is, “adding joy to the tasks that lack excitement”
I like to add uplifting music in the background when working on something I don’t usually find exciting, or I’ll listen to or watch something motivating while doing tasks that I find boring, like folding the laundry.
As you are doing those tasks that don’t excite you, remind yourself that there is joy in even the simplest of things. You just have to create it because that’s what life is, it’s a creation. We are the creators and we are co-creating with the universe.
Take more risks
One of the best ways to step into main character energy is by taking more risks! I get it, taking risks can be scary, but the best part about taking risks is the opportunity for growth.
Society pushes this narrative that we need to follow a set structure in order to find success and survive.
You go to school, then you get a minimum wage job while you pursue a degree so that you can finally get a higher paying job, just so you can pay off the loans you took out in order to get that job in the first place! Then you’re stuck on this never ending wheel of trying to level up in life the way that society believes you should.
Society conditions us to think that survival mode is the only way to live.
But what if you took a risk? What if you took a risk and believed that you could succeed?
The risks we take often lead to growth and opportunity. So I challenge you to take a risk.
I chose to go to college because it’s what was pushed upon me in high school. I thought if I didn’t go to college, I wouldn’t be successful.
After attending college for a year and a half I realized it wasn’t for me, so I chose to drop out. Many questioned this decision. They asked when I would go back, but I didn’t want to.
This lead me to eventually finding success through taking a risk to start a blog and quit my job that kept me feeling secure. The job that kept me feeling secure also kept me on survival mode.
Quitting that job was a big risk for me because being self employed wasn’t a stable, steady income. There were always ups and downs and a lot of unknowns, but I trusted that I was capable.
Once I started trusting in my capabilities, I knew there was a reality that existed where I was living out this self made career. I chose to visualize this into existence. Through visualization and inspired action, I had a six figure year from my blog.
I wouldn’t of had these moments if I didn’t take those risks.
That’s why I am encouraging you to take a risk, as long as that risk is something you feel passionately about and comes from a genuine heart space, then it’s meant for you.
Often we think, well what if I fail or what if it doesn’t work out. We always think the worst case scenario because our ego is wanting to protect us, but often it’s our ego that stands in our way.
Everything happens for a reason. There is no such thing as failure. If it doesn’t work out it simply means you are being redirected to something better.
Remember, the more inner work you do, the more your external world begins to shift and align.
Set intentions and take action.
If you want to become the main character of your life then it’s time to set intentions and take action towards achieving what you set out for yourself.
There’s an exercise that I like to do in order to get clear on my intentions.
First, grab a piece of paper and a pen.
Now take some time to write out what it is you want to change about your current reality.
Maybe you are currently employed for a job that doesn’t fulfill you, maybe you want to buy a new house, maybe you want to move across the country. Whatever it is that you are wanting to change about your current reality, write it all down.
The second part of this exercise is writing out what it is you want in this new reality.
For example, if you want to change your job, then write out what your ideal job would be. If you want to change your location, write out what your ideal location would be. Get specific.
Next, you want to now look at your current reality and ask yourself, and be honest, how are you keeping yourself in this current reality and what changes do YOU need to make in order to align with your dream reality?
Are there any habits that are keeping you in your current reality? What about mindset blocks? Are you afraid to take action towards making changes to align to your new reality? Where does this fear come from?
The truth is, NOTHING changes if NOTHING changes. If you don’t do the work to change your current reality, then you will always be living in your current reality.
There are tons of realities that exist for you and there is a reality that exists where YOU ARE living out the dream reality you wrote out for yourself, but only YOU can choose to align with this reality. That happens when you make the necessary changes to shift from your current reality to your dream reality.
Set intentions and goals that will help you create the changes you need in order to align.
What I’ve learned from personal goal setting experience is that you need to set reasonable goals. Start by setting smaller intentions that will help you work towards achieving those big goals
Maybe you want to buy a house, okay well then what small goals can you set that will help you achieve that one big goal.
For example, set the intention to get pre-approved for a mortgage loan and then give yourself a deadline to get this done by.
As long as you are taking action towards your big goals, you will get there. However, if you don’t set those small intentions and only focus on the big goal it can lead to overwhelm and procrastination.
So these are the 7 ways that you can step into main character energy and take back control of your own life! We all have free will, we all hold the pen, and we all write our own story!
We are co-creators with the universe and now is the perfect opportunity to start a new chapter! So what’s your next chapter going to be? The choice is yours!
Sending you all of my love
Until next time.