Today’s podcast episode is all about finding your life purpose. This was highly requested! If you are wondering how to find your purpose in life then this episode is for you.
What is purpose?
What is purpose? When someone asks you what’s your life purpose what would you say?
In my opinion I believe your purpose is related to what makes you happy and gives your life a sense of meaning. Think back to when you were a kid. When people used to ask you, what do you want to be when you grow up, what would you say? What lights your soul up! That to me is purpose.
But, why is it that so many of us choose not to follow our purpose?
There are so many reasons why people choose not to pursue their purpose in life, but 99% of the time it’s because of FEAR.
Fear of other people’s opinions
If I ask someone why they didn’t pursue their purpose they might say they fear the opinions of others.
For example, let’s say you’ve always dreamed of being a famous writer or artist, but your parents have always pushed this career of being a doctor or lawyer because they believe that you need to follow their foot steps.
Or maybe you never visioned yourself going to college because it just doesn’t feel like it aligns with your happiness, but you fear telling your family that because you know they dream of you getting a degree. In their eyes you can’t be successful without a degree.
So instead of listening to your intuition and following what you want for yourself, you let other people dictate your life. This ends up pushing you further away from your life purpose and happiness. Instead you end up taking all of these steps that are just keeping you unhappy and stuck in a life that doesn’t feel meaningful.
But hey at least you aren’t letting other people down right?
This is people pleasing and it’s a reaction that we have due to unhealed wounds. I talk about this in my last podcast episode, that talks all about healing your inner child.
I truly believe that the first step in finding your purpose is healing. As a child we create this version of ourselves that is used to protect us as a kid. Often times that version of us is actually holding us back.
Maybe you had a parent who would always be disappointed in the choices you made for yourself, or a parent who was always angry…no matter what you did you were always seen as a problem child, so in order to protect yourself emotionally as a child you would do whatever you could to make this parent happy. This version of yourself you created as a child continues on through your teen and young adult years until you realize that you need to heal and create a new version of you that puts your happiness before the opinion of others.
The truth is, this is YOUR life. Not your parent’s, not your families’ or your friend’s, or whoever else has an opinion about what makes you happy and what gives you purpose.
All About Survival Mode
Another reason so many choose not to pursue their life purpose is because they are in survival mode.
“How am I going to make money from this passion? How will I be able to monetize it?”
I am guilty of this because for the longest time I had this money making, business mindset that was all about how I could make more money for myself because I was afraid of ever being without.
Growing up with my parents divorced, my mom was always working 2-3 jobs to keep a roof over our head. She never truly seemed happy with her jobs, she was more so exhausted and burnt out, but she kept working. She kept pushing because she was going through survival mode.
I didn’t come from a wealthy family so to be honest as I got older I always had this lack mindset of “well Maybe I’m not worthy of making money and being happy.” And thoughts of, “well if I’m not working really hard every day then that’s a problem.”
“My job isn’t a real job if it isn’t hard work because if you enjoy your job then it’s really not a job”
These are all lack mindsets that I created during childhood. It’s like I’m constantly on survival mode, afraid to lose it all, afraid that if I don’t choose a job that gives me financial stability then I’ll never make it in life. Let’s be honest, we have a very materialistic society and society teaches us that we need to work hard (40+ hours a week) to survive and you need to go to college. In order to go to college you need to go into debt in order to get that degree so you can get that job and pay back that debt that you accumulated from getting that job in the first place.
But don’t worry, by the time you’re 75, then maybe you won’t have to be in survival mode anymore. Maybe then you can finally relax and enjoy life for what it is. Maybe then you can finally appreciate life because you’ve worked all your life and raised a family while you hustled. You survived and you saved your money and maybe at 75 you can finally be truly happy right?
How is that purpose? I believe that when you choose to follow your happiness and you choose to trust your intuition to find your purpose RIGHT NOW, the rest will fall into place.
When you let go of those limiting beliefs like “oh I can’t do this because it’s not going to bring me an income.” and you start to believe in yourself and you don’t make money your number one priority, that’s when it’ll work out.
Let go of the materialistic wants because at the end of the day they don’t hold as much value as you think they do. At the end of the day when you are older and your life is coming to an end do you think those things are going to really matter? Or are you going to sit there wishing you had more experiences? Wishing You had more time to do the things you love. You’ll wish that you blocked out those negative thoughts and unwanted opinions and you’ll wish that you chose to follow your purpose because purpose gives our life meaning and without meaning then what really was living our life for?
How I Found My Life Purpose
Before I recognized my unhealed trauma I had this people pleasing version of myself that decided to go down the path of higher education. What I quickly realized as I was going through my first year of college was that I hated it. I didn’t have a good college experience and I never had a positive high school experience either, but what I was good at was teaching myself. I loved learning about things that I am passionate about.
When it comes to college I always thought, why am I taking classes that don’t relate to what I’m trying to pursue? Why do I need to take a science class if I want to be a writer? It felt as if they just wanted to take my money so they created all of these extra classes that I needed to take in order to get that degree. It was BS to me.
So I dropped out of college even though I knew people would be disappointed. Even though I felt like a failure at first, I didn’t let it stop me.
I was a full time server at the time barely making it by. I had so much credit card debt it was overwhelming. About 14-15 credit cards that I had to pay off. My survival mode was turned up and I would work 12 hour shifts on my feet all day. Usually I would give myself 1-2 days off a week because I had bills to pay.
It wasn’t until one shift and I remember it so clearly. I got sat with a party of about 15-20 kids and it was 10 mins before we were closing. I took the table trying not to feel frustrated. The kids all ordered their food and made a huge mess. They didn’t have any parents with them. When I gave them the $300 something check, they all started to leave their change and crumpled up dollar bills. They managed to give me exact and no tip.
At this point I really didn’t expect anything less, but having a job where you got paid $3 an hour and relied on tips to pay your bills, not getting that $60 tip was a jab, especially when I knew I had the electric bill coming up and it was the end of a long shift.
As I’m cleaning up the mess these kids left me with tears in my eyes from just being mentally and physically exhausted, I started thinking to myself, what the hell are you doing, why are you still here? This job drains you of everything you have; your peace, your happiness, your energy.
This was a breakdown moment for me as I got into my car that night and just let my emotions pour out. It was in this moment where I felt hopeless. At this point in my life I truly thought that I would be stuck at this job forever. That I would never find a job that made me happy. Every job id apply to they would tell me I wasn’t qualified enough.
It wasn’t until one night I was scrolling through Pinterest which was an app I was obsessed with at the time. I’d pin my dream house, dream wedding, just things that I visioned for myself but never truly believed I’d ever have.
I ended up coming across pins about starting a blog and making it a career.
In high school creative writing was my favorite subject. I loved to write so I thought this would be perfect. I didn’t think much of it when I started my blog, but I would vision myself as a full time blogger who was working from home and no longer serving. That vision alone motivated me enough to at least give it my all.
I’d stay up all night after work just learning about marketing and how to make it successful. Eventually about 6 months later I was making over $1,500 a month online, and a year later that doubled, then in 2020 I made my first $100,000 that year. But it wasn’t until 2020 that I realized I got burnt out and lost my passion for what I was doing.
Before I started my blog there was this time in my life where I so badly wanted a baby. We weren’t trying at the time and this was when I was waitressing full time and struggling to pay my bills. At the time I didn’t realize how depressed I became. For many months I would convince myself I was pregnant even though deep down I knew I wasn’t. I also knew it wouldn’t have been the right time for us to have a baby.
I remember being in pain one night and Josh brought me to ready med. They wanted to do a scan, but I told them “no I’m pregnant, we can’t it’ll hurt my baby.” As they looked at me confused, they had me pee in a cup and assured me that I wasn’t pregnant, but I didn’t believe them. I just cried as I allowed them to do the scan and I thought to myself, this makes no sense I swear I am pregnant.
This was the lowest point in my life and at the time I didn’t realize it, but I was so badly craving purpose and meaning. I was working this shitty job that made me miserable. I would wake up everyday repeating the same miserable tasks and I wasn’t happy. I thought having a baby would finally give me purpose because that baby would need me in their life and maybe then I would have a the sense of purpose that I craved.
That’s when I knew I had to distract myself, so I started the blog. It took my mind off of a lot of stressful situations happening in my reality. It distracted my mind from the pain I felt on a daily basis. It was like I was numbing this part of me through writing and interacting with others online.
When I first started my blog it was all about mindset, personal growth and motivational topics, but that quickly changed because I started to make more money through marketing topics and helping others create a blog of their own.
I thought I found my purpose, but in reality I just found something better than waitressing that was making me money and paying my bills.
I was on survival mode still, so I was chasing after the monetization aspect of blogging rather than really writing and following my passion. I thought that if I followed my true passions of mindset, I wouldn’t be able to make an income from it.
When I got burnout and unmotivated in 2020 I realized that this wasn’t my life purpose after all. My purpose wasn’t to teach others how to blog and market their content. Although I knew I was good at it, it wasn’t fulfilling me.
When I was going through this shift, I started my spiritual journey and that’s when I really started to connect with my higher self. I asked myself the hard questions, “what really made me happy? What did I enjoy, what actually makes me feel fulfilled? And why wasn’t I going after this?”
That’s when I realized that I feel fulfilled when I help others see their true potential. When I’m helping others heal those inner child wounds and reframe their limiting beliefs so that they can live a life that makes them feel fulfilled too. I’m happiest when I am in flow with life, not stressing about how I’m going to get by, but rather trusting my intuition and teaching others how to be more spiritual too. That’s my purpose. That’s my passion.
I’m not going to sit here anymore in survival mode afraid of how i’ll be able to make an income from this or afraid that others will judge me for being more spiritual, using tarot cards to assist me, talking to spirit guides or whatever else they might look down at me for. I’m not going to hold back. I’m going to share my personal experiences because I know it will be helpful to others. I want to show the most authentic version of me. I am choosing to let go of the version I created of myself when I was a kid.
When you trust your intuition and pursue your purpose regardless of those fears, I promise it’s going to work out because your soul purpose is meant to make your life abundant regardless.
Stop living your life in fear and turn off survival mode for once. Sometimes just being in flow and not stressing how you are going to get the outcome you want, ends up bringing you the outcome you need.
Trust, trust in yourself. You find your purpose when you listen to yourself. When you listen to those inner nudges telling you what really makes you happy. When you have those sparks that make you go “wow this is really fun and fulfilling. I’d love to do this the rest of my life.” that’s your purpose.
Before you know it you’ll be 75 years old reflecting on your life wondering why you cared so much about THINGS rather than experiences because the truth is THINGS really have no value.
I promise when you are older you are going to wish you pursued your purpose when you had the chance. You’ll realize that your survival mode was just a limiting belief that held you back from really appreciating and experiencing life to the fullest.
Happiness follows when you see through the BS, the lies that are fed to you and the excuses you create for yourself out of fear.
Finding your purpose
What would you do if you knew you could not fail and if money did not exist, if there were no limits, what would you choose to do? FOLLOW THAT.
Ask yourself, am I pursuing this job because it makes me happy and lights up my soul or am I pursuing this job because of the income and financial security it’s giving me? Because when you make the money your number one priority, I don’t think that’s really purpose. That’s your materialistic mindset and survival mode getting in the way of you REALLY figuring out what your purpose is. Don’t make money the priority. Make happiness the priority and emotional fulfillment the priority.
It’s your fears that are holding you back and it’s those fears that keep us in a job that doesn’t truly bring us happiness because we are just listening to what society has told us is our truth. We keep those jobs because we are in survival mode and we care about materialistic things. We want to just make sure we survive so we stay comfortable.
BUT, the most successful people who are living out their authentic truth had to get uncomfortable first, because true happiness and success doesn’t come from our comfort zone. It comes when we take those risks, follow our hearts, trust our intuition, and find that purpose.
I hope today’s episode helped motivate and inspire you to make that change you’ve been wanting to make or take that leap of faith that you’ve been afraid to take.